TAMING THE BICYCLE
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In the early eighties Mark Twain learned to ride one of the old
high-wheel bicycles of that period. He wrote an account of his
experience, but did not offer it for publication. The form of bicycle he
rode long ago became antiquated, but in the humor of his pleasantry is a
quality which does not grow old.
A. B. P.
I
I thought the matter over, and concluded I could do it. So I went down a
bought a barrel of Pond's Extract and a bicycle. The Expert came home
with me to instruct me. We chose the back yard, for the sake of privacy,
and went to work.
Mine was not a full-grown bicycle, but only a colt--a fifty-inch, with
the pedals shortened up to forty-eight--and skittish, like any other
colt. The Expert explained the thing's points briefly, then he got on
its back and rode around a little, to show me how easy it was to do. He
said that the dismounting was perhaps the hardest thing to learn, and so
we would leave that to the last. But he was in error there. He found,
to his surprise and joy, that all that he needed to do was to get me on
to the machine and stand out of the way; I could get off, myself.
Although I was wholly inexperienced, I dismounted in the best time on
record. He was on that side, shoving up the machine; we all came down
with a crash, he at the bottom, I next, and the machine on top.
We examined the machine, but it was not in the least injured. This was
hardly believable. Yet the Expert assured me that it was true; in fact,
the examination proved it. I was partly to realize, then, how admirably
these things are constructed. We applied some Pond's Extract, and
resumed. The Expert got on the OTHER side to shove up this time, but I
dismounted on that side; so the result was as before.
The machine was not hurt. We oiled ourselves again, and resumed. This
time the Expert took up a sheltered position behind, but somehow or other